Category Archives: Luzon

Luzon #1: A&B Premise Questions…

Working on the A&B premise questions for the first Luzon book…


  1. What do I love about this story?The premise, the setting, the characters, the time period. This book is home to many things that I love most about high fantasy… and even though I started it many years ago at this point, it’s always calling me back to it. This time, when I pick it back up to rewrite it, I intend to finish it.
  2. Where is your novel set, who is your main character, and what is his main conflict, problem, or goal?This novel is set mainly in the country of Culloden, one of the three human countries. The main character is Ormryche, a young man drawn into the world of wizardry, seeking to use his skills in the service of King and Country.
  3. What does your protagonist most want, and why?Ormryche seeks to be a champion of the realm– not because he wants to be a hero, but because he is a hero. He is a swordsman, trained to become a Lord of the Realm when his father passes on, and he learns to be a mage. All these skills give him power– but they also give him responsibility. He has the opportunity to make changes, to affect people’s lives. He has the confidence of his King, and ties to the Mage Council… and he is affected by the problems that they face as well.
  4. What is your your protagonist’s second plot layer? (Maass uses “plot layer” to refer to a subplot directly affecting the main character, such as a romance; storylines relating to other characters are referred to as subplots.)He seeks the respect of his father, his King, and his mentor Karlon.
  5. What is your protagonist’s third plot layer?He seeks the love of Evelan, his companion in mage training. He has known for many years that his marriage was most likely to be arranged for him, but all that changes when he becomes a mage. Similarly, Evelan was raised to be a Lady, and is also freed of her planned life when she enters the mage training. Romance blooms as they face adversity together, but is it just the bond of their trials, or is it true love?
  6. What is the first subplot?The tension in the realm caused by the barrenness of Queen Avara… and the fact that the shadow mages are behind the fact that she is barren.
  7. What is the second subplot?Conflict between the Lords of the Realm due to the shadow mages seeking to turn one Lord against another. (The assassination attempt on Olenek implicating Sangar, the cattle raids on Sangar’s herds, etc.)
  8. What is the third subplot?Tension in the Council of Twelve between Karlon and Halvrath over Karlon’s late wife.
  9. Who is the most important secondary or supporting character, what is her main problem, conflict, or goal, and what does she most want?Evelan is the secondary character. She is in many ways in the same situation as Ormryche, but where he would have had some freedom in his duties as a Lord, she would have been much more strictly confined by her role as a Lady. She feels lost and adrift when her life changes and she is entered into mage training. With the guidance of Mage Karlon and Queen Avara, she seeks to find her way in life.
  10. Who is the novel’s antagonist, what is his main problem, conflict, or goal, and what does he most want?The events in this book are directed by a Shadow, a mage who has committed the Wizard’s Flaw and become one of the living dead. The energy of stolen life burned his away from him at the same time it cursed him to undeath. The Shadow is under the command of Lucero and Morgianna, the two dark gods who seek to re-enter this world, and he is a pawn in their schemes.

ETA: forgot I do actually have a rough map of this, along with the continent name (Tareya).



Posted by on February 14, 2006 in Luzon, Planning/Plotting


Luzon Conflicts list:

Personal Conflicts:
Romantic tension between Ormryche and Evelan
Antipathy between Halvrath and Karlon
Evelan adjusting to freedom as a mage, unfettered by restrictions of being a Lady
Ormryche and Evelan feeling homesick
Sangar’s general distrust of Olenek and Karlon
Tawny and Martel keeping secrets from Ormryche and Evelan (assuming I keep that subplot thread)
Karlon’s loneliness

Story Conflicts:
Conflicts between the Lords regarding lack of an heir
Conflicts between the Lords regarding assassination attempts
Shadow mages causing Avara’s infertility
Infiltration of agents of the shadow mages

Background Conflicts:
Death of Karlon’s first wife


Posted by on January 25, 2006 in Luzon

Leave a comment

Luzon #1: New Synopsis & Outline Notes…

The original synopsis ended up covering both book 1 and book 2 (since I figured out that I had to split the book in half), so I figured it was past time to update it:


Young Ormryche Olenekson was raised to be the Lord of Luzon, like his father before him, serving King and Queen in dark times. But his life takes a very different turn when his magegift awakens. Together with the Lady Evelan, they study with the Mage Karlon and seek to master their new power. But with power comes responsibility, and they are thrust into the forefront of the battles against the Shadows rising in the land…

Went to add it to the WIP Manager, but that already had the premise work I did for this in A&B style:

Young Ormryche Olenekson has been raised to be the heir to the Luzon fiefdom. His father passes down the Luzon sword to him, declaring him a man, as the King comes to visit for hunting season. During the hunt, Ormryche uses magic to stop assassins from killing the King. Mage Karlon, who was present, convinces the King and Lord Olenek that Ormryche’s gift is too strong to be left untrained, and the two leave Luzon to arrange for further guards to be sent to the King.

After visiting Culloden Castle, they travel to Amunsden to retrieve Evelen, daughter of Lord Sangar, who is also to be trained. Together, the three of them confront and defeat dark warriors as they travel to the magehall Sentry, and begin their studies in magic. After some time in training, they call their familiars… who shock the mage Council of Twelve by not only being great cats (the snow leopard Martel and the puma Tawny) with the capability for true mindspeech, but also with magical abilities as well.

After the familiars being investigated and confirmed by the envoys of the Council, they travel to Culloden upon news that an assassination attempt against Lord Olenek has failed… apparently instigated by Lord Sangar. Banding together, the two lords and the mages manage to unravel a dark plot at court and expose the guilty.

Evelan and Ormryche grow closer in their time together, and bond further when they both become Journeyman mages and travel the lands with Karlon, visiting members of the Three Races. They seek further information on a prophecy that Karlon believes affects them, involving the Lost Fourth Race. Amongst the elven Shee d’Esti family of Karlon’s late wife, they realize a larger plot is in process, and return to Culloden to unmask a conspiracy that has kept the Queen barren and civil war a threat to the nation. Dark forces rise as the plot is foiled, and march upon Culloden in reprisal. They are defeated, but grievous word comes afterwards: most of the Council of Twelve has been assassinated while the battle was waged.

Some notes on the outline, things that I want to change:

When I sub’d the initial chapter to Fantastic Byways ages ago, and deRien commented that I should:

show emotions with associations, body language, reactions

When talking about re-arc’ing the story with and Fool (), I decided that Avara’s bareness barenness was the central conflict in book 1:

change ch 1: avara and laoura talk about barenness and the problems of the house, showing avara in a more motherly light
add ch 4: evelan and karlon talk about avara
add ch 4: evelan writes letter to avara
add ch 6: avara writes evelan

Other misc notes from myself and :

remember that as O&E advance in studies that instinct will become less important
make ormryche less perfect (no Mary-Sue’ing allowed)
start of the book: Uturik visits Luzon because it’s Ormryche’s Naming Day, which is why he leads the hunt rather than Zian
draw out the attraction / tension between Evelan and Ormryche
focus less on the lessons and more on the interactions between the characters
dont forget the familiars; involve them and make them drive the plot the same as the other characters (after all, they ARE characters, too)



Posted by on January 25, 2006 in Luzon

Leave a comment

Luzon #1 (Shadows of Twilight): Original Outline

[cut]BOOK 1: Shadows of Twilight

Chapter 1: The Arrival
Introduction of Ormryche and Lord Olenek
Message from King Uturik of Culloden
Gift of Luzon sword and description of it, black cloak
Intro of Steward Zian and Lady Laoura
Gift of dragon brooch, Zian’s gift of daggers and boots
Ormryche vs. Zian in sword practice, game of Karkkona- ka
Intro of Mage Karlon and the King’s caravan
Karlon’s vision
King’s caravan’s entrance into Luzon; Ormryche introduced to the King
Background of Mage Karlon
Queen Avara and Lady Laoura talk in Luzon’s gardens
King Uturik vs. Lord Olenek, then vs. Ormryche
The feast; Lord Sangar’s proposition concerning Ormryche and Evelan
Karlon vs. Sangar concerning Evelan
Wizard’s Flaw; Sangar’s message to Evelan, carried by Avaretha

Chapter 2: The Hunt
Hunting party leaves in the morning; the hunt
The ambush, Ormryche’s skill
Karlon sends magical power; Ormryche’s brooch glows, sword of fire
Return to Luzon; tracking party dispatched
Talk between Ormryche and Karlon; the sword
The council; Karlon and Ormryche to leave; Ormryche to be apprenticed
Lord Olenek named Prince of Culloden
Ormryche and Karlon leave Luzon for Culloden

Chapter 3: Culloden
The first day on way to Culloden
Second day; ambush suspected
Ambush; evil mage; -cremation
Surviving soldier; passed; exorcism
Travel the last few hours to Culloden caste, with Ysaac
Enter Culloden, Commander Asghar of the King’s Forces
Asghar told the events, Ysaac becomes soldier for Asghar
Later events told to Asghar; food and rest

Chapter 4: Amunsden
Leave in the morning; Asghar opens the gates for them
(switch) Evelan at Amunsden in gardens, reading Sangar’s note
Avaretha brings another note to her, carries two notes, only lets her take the note for her
Avaretha leaves going north; Shiann Sangarson
Preparations for Evelan to leave
Ormryche and Karlon arrive
Dinner in Amunsden

Chapter 5: Bonds
Ormryche, Karlon. and Evelan leave for Sentry
ancient history, the Lost Race
magic quill
ormryche’s poem for evelan

Chapter 6: Sentry
Rescue by Olenek and Zian
Sentry; people from Luzon await
Settling in, Zian and Olenek leave for Luzon

Chapter 7: First Lessons
Speaking globes
Explanation of schedule; free day
History lesson
first lesson

Chapter 8: Discoveries
Evelan’s musings
Minor cantrips
Ormryche sees Evelan bathing
General studies
Ormryche finds martial technique in magic training

Chapter 9:
dinner with Evelan
gem work
Evelan joins staff practices
Ormryche draws magical painting of Evelan

Chapter 10: Consequences
Ormryche skips staff practice; Evelan gets upset; Karlon comforts her
Karlon confronts Ormryche; painting discussed
Ormryche makes up for missed practice, confesses to Evelan

Chapter 11: Preparations
ritual for summoning familiars

Chapter 12: Familiar Call
Summoning of familiars
karlon sends word to the council

Chapter 13: Council Rivalries
council members start to arrive
conflict with Halvrath
Evelan scries her family

Chapter 14: Council Decision
Malkai arrives, situation probed
unrest over Olenek being named Heir
assassination attempt, clues point to Sangar

Chapter 15: Shadows Stirring
preparations made
the magi ride out
meeting near the village of Caranfa
trip to Culloden
meeting with Asghar

Chapter 16: Shadows Strike
evelan and Avara talk
Olenek and Ormryche talk
Uturik, Sangar, Olenek speak to council and Asghar
Orel and Ayan summoned
Sangar and Evelan talk
Ormryche and Evelan speak to the mages
second assassination attempt, Sangar wounded
Ysaac finds a clue

Chapter 17: Shadows Unveiled
magical protection made vs invisibility
Orel and Ayan arrive w/ entourage
Ysaac and Tawny make identification
Orel’s steward possessed; exorcised

Chapter 18: Light Upon Shadows
Ayan dealt with the dark mages
Ayan executed, Orel chastised
warning amulets
King’s Audience; Sangar cleared, Royal Steward Taron appointed over Tigil

Chapter 19: Comfort of Home
Yuletide in Amunsden and Luzon
Return to Sentry

Chapter 20: Arcana Major
advanced studies
potions, magic items, etc.

Chapter 21: Journeyman Travels
the 3 travel the lands, helping people and exchanging knowledge

Chapter 22: Bridging Time
karlon visits the parents of his dead Shee wife
queO’Sara village with fertility problem

Chapter 23: The Barren Queen
trio realizes Avara’s barrenness may be unnatural
agent of the dark involved, kills herself rather than reveal info.
They counteract the medication she has been given

Chapter 24: Council Challenged
council assassinated (except karlon and 2 others)
track down dark mage who orchestrated Avara’s barreness
Ormryche and evelan become members of the council



Posted by on January 25, 2006 in Luzon

Leave a comment

April Fools Update!

Did 460 words yesterday on chapter 18 of Shadows of Twilight (formerly Heir of Luzon).

Did 776 words today on the same chapter… two scenes down. I did go with a more complex plot– it was Lord Orel’s seneschal that was possessed, but Lord Ayan was the one allied with the dark mages, not Orel. Orel was guilty of other things, but not as serious as that. (Though Lord Sangar seems to think horse thieves are as bad as allies of the dark mages, heh…)

Did 101 on Bathing Beauties… chipping away at that.

So… those 877 words put me up to 5038 for the month so far. Which means…

5,038 / 5,000

Posted by on April 7, 2004 in Luzon, Progress, Thantil